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Understanding the vicious cycle: Representing DV offenders who are also the victims
I am often asked why I represent people that commit family violence. Here is my answer, writes Lauren Cassimatis.
Lauren Cassimatis
Editor’s note: This story may be distressing or disturbing for some readers. Discretion is advised.
Victims of family violence often develop behaviours and trauma that unconsciously drive them to do the same. Doesn’t everyone deserve to have a voice and a second chance at life? How can you break the cycle of violence if there’s no one there to shine a light on your behaviour, protect you, and redevelop your sense of self-worth?
One of my female clients was a victim of domestic violence. Her partner, through his emotional abuse, convinced her she wasn’t worthy of living and too unattractive to ever be loved. She developed anorexia, was self-harming, and had a drug addiction (to numb her pain). Her drug use, learned behaviour, and trauma caused her to be violent towards her family.
Another female client was so fearful of her life: her partner would physically assault her for any “mistake” she made, resulting in serious injuries, including head injuries. She developed disassociation and psychosis from her trauma and, in this latter state, killed her partner. The court accepted she was not criminally responsible due to her defence of mental impairment.
Victims of domestic violence may sometimes resort to violence themselves for a variety of complex reasons, including but not limited to:
- Self-defence: In many cases, those who have experienced domestic violence may use violence as a means of protecting themselves from further harm. This can be a survival instinct in response to ongoing abuse.
- Learned behaviour: Victims of domestic violence may internalise the abusive behaviour they have experienced and may replicate it in their own relationships as a way of coping with trauma.
- Psychological impact: Victims of domestic violence often experience trauma, anxiety, depression, psychosis, eating disorders and other mental health issues that can contribute to their use of violence as a coping mechanism.
- Lack of support: those who have experienced domestic violence may feel isolated and unsupported, leading them to use violence to empower or protect themselves.
- Cultural or societal norms: Some may have been socialised to believe that violence is an acceptable way to resolve conflicts or assert dominance in relationships.
Lauren Cassimatis is the principal lawyer and director of Gallant Law.
