“Most lawyers, their intention is good, whether it is on behalf of their clients or because they want to be really good at what they do. They’re generally very driven, they’re very ambitious and somewhat perfectionistic, but those traits that make them really good at critical thinking and doing quality work can come back to bite them when it comes to relationships with others. So, I think there’s a bit of a disconnect. And you could say that for most people – people’s intention versus the impact that they have on other people,” she said.

“And lawyers aren’t overly high on sociability, they’re down near the seventh percentile, and even if you’re a rainmaker, you’re the 12th percentile. And obviously, there’s a big focus, particularly in private practice, where [lawyers] are very driven to build those hours and drive revenue. And that’s a task orientation as opposed to a people or relationship orientation. So, you want to get both of those in balance because otherwise the work just accumulates for yourself and you don’t become very good at influencing others or being able to delegate or have people succeed you.”

The negative impact of interpersonal conflict on relationships is something Newport has witnessed throughout her coaching work among various clients – one in particular that stood out to her.

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“I was working recently with a very successful and high-profile lawyer in a large global firm, and some of the things that made this person incredibly good at what they did were the things that were holding them back in terms of progressing further. This person was whip smart, very confident, at least on the outside – I think there’s definitely a difference between appearing confident and having high self-esteem – very competitive and worked incredibly hard, prided themselves, with young babies, at getting two to three hours sleep a night,” she said.

“So, that impacted that person’s ability to work effectively with others. And how it manifested day to day was outbursts, unrestrained anger with colleagues. And even though clients were happy, work was being billed and the profile of the firm was high as a result of some of the international work that was being done, there was disengagement of the people that had to support that person. There was turnover. And there are all those hidden costs when you’re focused on external generation of revenue. But it’s very expensive to lose staff and retrain people and pay a premium to get somebody from a competitor because you’re time-poor.”

While the profession overall is prioritising wellness and getting better at combating the competitive landscape within firms, Newport said that “actual behavioural change” is somewhat lagging.

“Yes, there are some very obvious wellbeing initiatives that firms are implementing. I guess it’s debatable the extent to which they are truly having an impact on people’s ability to do their work and manage their own lives. At the same time, I’m not sure a lot of the stats around clinical depression, substance abuse, marital breakdown have moved the dial that much. What I do know is that in addition to all the evidence-based wellbeing initiatives, the best initiatives aren’t gym memberships or the like. They are things like workplace design and flexibility,” she said.

“There are a lot of people that will want to spend at least part of their week outside of the office to balance work life. And then the second most effective initiative is around programs to improve firm cultures and also interpersonal relationships within the firm. That’s where you’ve got employees coaching and supporting each other, as opposed to competing with each other, whether that’s to build practices or to generate revenue. So, I think there’s a lot more awareness. But I know with awareness, you need to see actual behavioural change, and that’s where the rubber hits the road.”

In terms of practical steps lawyers themselves can take to deal with interpersonal challenges, Newport said that “being self-aware is really important”, as well as knowing what one’s strengths and weaknesses are.

“Most of our critical thinking means that we have biases, and we are able to judge situations, but we need to be mindful when we do that with people, how helpful that can be. Once you’re self-aware, you can then work on your self-management. Any action or inaction has a benefit and a cost. So, it’s not just defaulting to a preference in terms of how you like to behave or what you like to do, but being attuned to who you’re with and what’s going on around you at any point in time, and being able to flex your style accordingly,” she said.

“How do you manage yourself in a way where you’re true to yourself and your values, that you’re also getting the win, win, win. The win for you, the win for others and the win for the firm. And then reflecting on your mindset and your behaviours and realising that despite the very best intentions, that sometimes your impact isn’t necessarily what you want it to be. And we’re all human. But it’s also having that growth mindset and realising that the more I can manage myself in situations, the better placed I’m going to be to influence others and be aligned with my own purpose and have a legacy when I finish my career that I’m proud of and feel good about.”

The transcript of this podcast episode was slightly edited for publishing purposes. To listen to the full conversation with Maria Newport, click below: