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Few lawyers would be willing openly to discuss their mistakes as they would their successes, writes Ray Steinwall.
Our reticence to admit mistakes is understandable. The law’s competitiveness and adversarial nature are understandably at odds with failure. We do everything to avoid making a mistake. If we do make a mistake, we often find excuses for ourselves or point the blame at others.
Without realising, the desire not to make a mistake may foster behaviours that are neither beneficial to our careers nor to ourselves, like working longer hours or taking up alcohol. Striving for perfection may also explain why lawyers suffer from anxiety and depression at rates higher than the general population.
Despite our best efforts and the best review mechanisms, we will make mistakes. It is because we are human – humans make mistakes, and it is not a bad thing. Many successful people often comment that they learned more from their mistakes than their successes.
Our first reaction to making a mistake is immediate questioning. How could we possibly have made the mistake, how are we going to explain it, what will our manager think, and what will be the consequences? The emotions that accompany the mistake are likely disappointment, frustration, and self-loathing.
Fear is also at the heart of why we dread making mistakes. It is not just the emotions we feel, as unpleasant as they are, but a series of negative views we harbour about ourselves. We fear how others, particularly our managers, perceive us and the consequences for our careers. The mental chatter is that we will be found out for not being perfect lawyers.
Rarely will the consequences of a mistake be as extreme as those conceived by our own minds. However, in the moment, it is not easy for us to reflect and assess the situation with objectivity.
Accepting the mistake is the first step to getting past it. One way to do that is to realistically assess the consequences, not the unrealistic ones our own minds will have us believe.
If we have worked in an organisation for some time, it is also unlikely that the positive opinions of us will be abandoned over a few mistakes. It takes something bordering on complete betrayal for those opinions to change. Most mistakes will not betray us.
Although we remember mistakes in minute detail, we forget or trivialise the many occasions we produced exceptional work. When we make a mistake, we also need to place it in context. That means recognising it as just a blip on a road of many successes.
Being a lawyer does not help in this. We are trained to be alert to risks and to anticipate the worst of consequences.
A response to fear is often avoidance of the situation and other similar situations that we believe will engender the same feelings. Before long, we may find ourselves avoiding more and more assignments for fear of making mistakes. Techniques like mindfulness can help us to see the situation for what it is, not the catastrophic one we sometimes imagine it to be.
We will repeatedly make mistakes throughout our careers. It is more helpful to view mistakes as a normal part of life and as an opportunity to grow and learn so we do not repeat the same mistake or are at least better equipped to manage it if it occurs.
Making mistakes and learning from them builds our pool of experience from which we can later draw. It is a particularly valuable tool for young lawyers because it is not possible to teach experience, it must be lived, even if each generation repeats the same mistakes as the last. We each take away and learn something unique from our mistakes.
Without realising, our desire not to make a mistake can act as a psychological brake on our talent because we believe our own internal voice that there is a natural limit to our ability. If we were to jettison that belief, we may be prepared to take more risks and make greater strides – fulfilling our true potential.
Invariably, we will make repeated mistakes as we push the boundaries of our talent. However, if we cultivate a healthy view of mistakes, the journey will be worthwhile.
Making mistakes and learning from them builds resilience. It may also help confirm what we value and what we do not. It may prompt us to stay a course or motivate us to make a fundamental change in direction.
We learn as much from our mistakes as our successes. Nothing great ever came from not taking a risk and making a mistake.
Ray Steinwall is a lawyer and adjunct professor at UNSW Law. This is an edited extract from a chapter of his new book, Life Lessons for Lawyers: Guidance for the Mind and Soul, published by Routledge (Taylor & Francis group).
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Ray Steinwall
