However, child-inclusive mediation has emerged as a transformative approach to dispute resolution, ensuring children’s voices and concerns are central to family decision making.

Speaking with Lawyers Weekly, Shelby Timmins, the director of Divorce Done Differently, highlighted the significant benefits of child-inclusive mediation for families and emphasised its growing importance in today’s evolving social and legal landscape.

What is it?

Timmins explained that child-inclusive mediation involves actively incorporating children’s “thoughts, hopes, worries, and wishes” to ensure they are actively and meaningfully involved in the process.

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Unlike traditional methods, she emphasised that this approach recognises that children involved in family disputes have “their own perspectives and feelings” about the family changes they are experiencing.

While children are given the opportunity to voice their “thoughts and feelings” during the mediation, Timmins clarified that their input is considered, “it is one piece of the puzzle, and important” but does not equate to having the final say in decision making.

Instead, she said, “it is the role of parents to hear their children’s voices and together, to come up with a way forward that works for their family”.

This approach stands in stark contrast to traditional family mediation, where, according to Timmins, the focus is typically on the parents’ needs, often leading to the experiences and perspectives of children being “sidelined”.

While parents may be encouraged to consider the wellbeing of their children, she explained that “there is no structured mechanism for children to participate directly in the discussion”, which can result in decisions that “may not work for kids”.

The benefits

The benefits of child-inclusive mediation extend beyond the children themselves but also offer significant advantages for the entire family.

Timmins outlined that some of the key benefits include:

• Empowerment of children: By allowing children to talk about how they feel about changes in their family circumstances, Timmins explained that this approach helps children feel “valued and heard”, which, in turn, can alleviate feelings of “helplessness” during such challenging times.

• Assists parents in understanding their child’s perspective: By gaining insights into their children’s perspectives, she noted how parents can “strengthen communication and connection”, thereby creating an environment where children “feel safe to share their emotions and concerns”.

• Better decision making: Listening to children’s perspectives enables parents to “make informed decisions” regarding critical arrangements that align with their children’s best interests, Timmins outlined.

• Increased co-parenting effectiveness: Timmins explained that child-inclusive mediation encourages parents to “collaborate more effectively as co-parents” through hearing their children’s concerns. This process, she noted, strengthens their ability to create a co-parenting plan that prioritises the best interests of their children.

• Enhanced emotional wellbeing: Including children in the mediation process, Timmins stated, could “significantly reduce their anxiety and emotional distress” by seeing that “their parents are making an effort to consider their needs and work it out together”.

Is it suitable for all children?

While child-inclusive mediation provides numerous benefits, it is not a universal solution and may not be suitable for every child or family.

Timmins noted that various factors must be carefully evaluated when determining whether this approach is appropriate for a specific family situation, with one of them being the family dynamic.

If there is a “history of high conflict, abuse, or domestic violence and family violence” within the family, Timmins emphasised, child-inclusive mediation may not be suitable, as the “safety and emotional wellbeing of the child must be prioritised”.

Timmins also highlighted that the age and emotional maturity of the children are crucial factors to consider when determining the suitability of this mediation method. She noted that “very young children” may face difficulties articulating their feelings or comprehending the implications of their input.

While a child may be suitable for the process, Timmins highlighted that parents’ readiness to engage in child-inclusive mediation and respect the child’s perspective is a crucial factor to consider.

“If one or both parents are not ready to prioritise the child’s voice or are focused solely on their own needs, a child-inclusive mediation may not be effective and may cause more harm to a child,” she said.

Timmins emphasised that if parents can’t receive feedback in a “constructive and calm manner”, the process may “not yield positive outcomes.

Why is child-inclusive mediation particularly crucial today?

By prioritising children’s voices, Timmins described child-inclusive mediation as a “significant evolution” in family dispute resolution, offering a “more empathetic and effective” approach to the mediation process.

In 2018, Timmins stated that a study conducted by the Australian Institute of Family Studies revealed that children whose parents had separated wanted to “have their views listened to”, to be “given an opportunity to participate in decisions about their care”, and “have their concerns about safety and abuse heard and acted on”.

Through considering the children’s perspectives, Timmins highlighted research indicating that such agreements are “more satisfactory and sustainable for all parties involved”. Additionally, it can “lead to better compliance with the terms of the agreements” and “reduce future conflicts”.