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‘Be courageous and open yourself up’
Navigating and managing personal conflict can be tricky, with the legal profession having various challenges in this space.
Lauren Croft
Maria Newport is a “recovering lawyer” now working as a mediator and executive coach. Speaking on a recent episode of The Lawyers Weekly Show, she reflected on lawyers’ ability to manage interpersonal conflict and why this issue has gotten worse post-pandemic.
“The caveat to saying that there’s work to be done in terms of managing interpersonal conflict is that lawyers are trained, particularly if they’re advocates or litigators, to go into bat for other people when there’s conflict. And it’s not necessarily that they don’t have the skills to deal with conflict. Just seems to be different when it’s their own interpersonal conflict. And I see that a lot when I’m working with people as an executive or team coach within law firms or with general counsel or government solicitors,” she said.
“I think intrinsically lawyers have a different approach to conflict, particularly when it comes to themselves. And when you look in a lot of organisations where there are legal professionals, the culture is not always conducive to people being able to manage conflict well and that therefore impacts their personal lives and their work life.”
This issue was not helped by the onset of the pandemic, Newport added, when lawyers were isolated and working from home constantly.
“I’m a big fan of flexible working, so it certainly made my life better and easier in terms of the work that I do. So, I’m not sure that it’s just flexible working, but I think not being around other people and being isolated, particularly when [lawyers] tend to be fairly introverted by nature and conflict-averse. So, when you’re isolated and working from home, that could potentially exacerbate the situation,” she said.
“I think it’s interesting that we now have more women in the profession than ever. And when you look at leadership and conflict management, women are supposed to be better at that. And I think as a general rule, you do see that in leadership.
“However, I think it’s different in some contexts where a lot of the women that I coach in law firms and or in legal positions complain of impostor syndrome and having the confidence to have the kinds of conversations they need to have when conflict inevitably arises.”
In terms of managing interpersonal conflicts and how that impacts wellbeing, lawyers are “not in a great space” across the board, Newport said.
“If wellbeing and enjoyment of our work is any indicator, I think lawyers proportionately are suffering as much, if not more so, than the general population. And that comes back to some of the research that has been done [around] lawyers being in the highest percentiles in most populations when it comes to scepticism, a desire for autonomy, focus on abstract reasoning and problem solving and a sense of urgency. And I think some of that is a result of the typical lawyer personality. But I think it’s also the way in which work is structured,” she added.
“And, of course, the greatest thing I don’t miss about law is time costing. But I think things are changing, particularly in some of these smaller, smart law firms. And I think AI and technology are going to hopefully help lawyers work smarter rather than harder.
“But I do think, as a profession, ability to manage stress and managing conflict as part of that, and conflict is not just disagreeing with people, but change. I don’t think change is going away. I think there’s just going to be more and more of it. So, it’s really, really important for people to get comfortable with knowing who and what they are, what they want, and being able to articulate that.”
Being able to manage this conflict, continued Newport, is important for deepening relationships – and should be prioritised by lawyers who want to move forward.
“Most of us avoid conflict because we perceive it as being something incredibly negative. And who wants to lose a friendship or a relationship or jeopardise attachment to another human being? No one, because it’s counterintuitive to how we live and need to survive,” she said.
“But I think if you face into it, be courageous and open yourself up and be a little bit vulnerable; it becomes very apparent very quickly that when you can speak to people about things that need to be spoken about, that there’s an advantage to that where you can actually clarify issues and deepen relationships in a way that you can’t when you avoid things.”
The transcript of this podcast episode was slightly edited for publishing purposes. To listen to the full conversation with Maria Newport, click below:
Lauren Croft
Lauren is a journalist at Lawyers Weekly and graduated with a Bachelor of Journalism from Macleay College. Prior to joining Lawyers Weekly, she worked as a trade journalist for media and travel industry publications and Travel Weekly. Originally born in England, Lauren enjoys trying new bars and restaurants, attending music festivals and travelling. She is also a keen snowboarder and pre-pandemic, spent a season living in a French ski resort.
