A Romanian prisoner is suing God, and with good reason too. He failed to save him from the devil, afterall, or so claims the man, named as Pavel M in media reports. He has accused God of “cheating, concealment, abuse against people’s interest, taking bribe and traffic of influence”. The man, who is serving 20 years for murder, claims that his baptism was a contract between himself and God, who was supposed to keep the Devil away and keep him out of trouble. Clearly distressed, Pavel M said “God even claimed and received from me various goods and prayers in exchange for forgiveness and the promise that I would be rid of problems and have a better life.” Poor dear. The prosecutor said the claim would probably be dropped, on account of it being slightly difficult to subpoena God to court.

Legal row over, or just starting?

A marathon 12-year legal battle has come to an end in the UK, with Deloitte, liquidators of BCCI, giving up on action it had taken against the Bank of England, claiming it had failed to supervise the collapsed bank.

However, the legal battle was not only long, it was also expensive, and with the claim now dropped, what is left is the £110 million ($261.5 million) legal bill. So who picks it up?

Lovells, which represented Deloitte, is claiming that the Bank of England employed procrastination techniques throughout the saga and refused to settle, despite various attempts by Deloitte to settle. Freshfields, representing the bank, says it will be seeking “the largest possible compensation for its costs”, on the grounds that the allegations of “dishonesty and impropriety against the bank were completely unfounded. The only real certainty is that there is quite a bit at stake.

Don’t waste my time

US District Judge J. Frederick Motz has dismissed a case brought by a group of 27 law firms claiming more than US$24 million ($33 million) for legal work they conducted against Microsoft in antitrust cases with the words “I’ve got better things to do”. The Grand Forks Herald has reported that Motz said he didn’t have “anything close to the jurisdiction” to make a judgement on the case, in which the firms were after a piece of the US$79 million ($108 million) pie that 11 law firms received for state cases in Florida, Minnesota, North Carolina, North Dakota, Tennessee and West Virginia, as well as the District of Columbia.

The lawyers in the federal case claim they performed significant amounts of work for the state lawyers, such as funding the litigation, taking many depositions and working with experts. But Motz told the plaintiffs “this is a stretch too far” and told them to take the matter to the state courts.

A hundred sides to every story

Rex Hunt has created a stir with his ’Bali safer than Byron Bay’ claims after he and his son were allegedly set on by a pack of 15 youths armed with broken glasses and Lordie knows what else. Reports say the local boys had it in for the Hunts because they were from out of town. Well, putting up with 26,000 tourists every summer, many of whom are probably less than warm and friendly, could sour the local/holiday maker relationship somewhat. But Folklaw smells a rat. To start with, these complaints made by any other cranky old man in Australia would go unnoticed. But because an AFL record and fishing show is enough to make you God in this country, they have caused a regular media scrimmage. Besides, if the attack was as horrendous as it was supposed to have been, surely a police report would have been filed (Hunt says the police advised against it because of the age of the boys involved, a claim the police deny). Also, the father of one of the Byron boys has told the Sydney Morning Herald that the brouhaha started after one of the boys stooped to pick up Hunt’s dropped sunglasses and return them. His reward was a snarl and an invitation to bugger off. Of course, the father may well be lying through his teeth, but we at Folklaw wouldn’t be cancelling our Byron Bay holiday bookings in a hurry. Just don’t pack a bad attitude and you should be fine.

Not good enough

The UK Trading Standards Service has fined Pabo Ltd, a supplier of pornographic films, after a woman complained about the content of their movies. But far from being disturbed by the raciness of the videos, the woman was disappointed. She claimed the pictures on the cover of the video were far more explicit than what was actually shown in the movie itself. Pabo Ltd claimed it had had to delete some of the scenes in order to pass the British Board of Film Classification’s stringent standards. But the woman remained unsatisfied, and the court issued the company with fines to the total of £16,000 ($38,000).

Arrested — but you can keep the booty

An Italian grandmother has shoplifted $166,500 worth of jewellery — by hiding the goods in her knickers. Police in Genoa said the 62-year-old had visited several jewellers posing as a frail but wealthy old lady. She would study the items intently and when the sales assistant had to help another customer, would quickly drop the items into her knickers. Even when the staff searched her pockets they found nothing, and really did not suspect such a dear to be capable of theft.

Granny’s game was up, however, when footage from security cameras revealed her stuffing gold necklaces and rings into her undies. Local daily La Repubblica reported that the woman had just wanted to make her life more exciting. “I got bored with expensive holidays and other little treats. It just wasn’t enough for me anymore,” she said. Well, it certainly gives a new meaning to the song title Diamonds on the Inside.