For those in sole practice or the boutique space, however, “people are often in a terrible mess” before a colleague or professional acquaintance is aware that something may be wrong and steps can be taken to address underlying issues, she posits.

In conversation with Lawyers Weekly following last week’s horrific mass murder of Ms Clarke and her three children, Ms Jobson – who is the CJ Legal principal solicitor – said that both she and the family law community are grieving.

“To be brutally honest, I am triggered and am feeling very raw,” she reflected.

VIEW ALL

“My initial response to the [Lawyers Weekly request for comment] was to decline because of my feelings. I am human. I am a woman. I am a spouse. I am a daughter. I am a sister. I am an auntie, and great auntie. I am a step-parent and step grand-parent. I am a friend. I was a nurse. I am a lawyer. I have worked with and cared for victims of crime and domestic violence. I have been exposed to domestic violence in all corners of my professional and my personal life.

“When asked about how I am dealing with the atrocity, I can say that it is not something that any of us can bounce back from. I am mindful that it is not about me, or my feelings or my experience and own background. Hannah Aaliyah, Laianah and Trey need a voice and their legacy necessitates people to continue to work with adults and children who need a voice.”

This particular case highlights the need to be proficient at getting instructions in family law matters that encompass a range of abusive behaviours “and take them seriously”, Ms Jobson observed, including social isolation, put-downs, threats, psychological abuse and financially controlling behaviour.

“Victims and survivors of domestic violence need a voice, need to believe and need to be heard. Family law clients navigating an extremely terrifying and difficult system who are also victims and survivors of violence need to be believed, heard and advocated for. Our family law system needs more trauma-informed professionals to support people better,” she argued.

It is important in such moments for family lawyers to allow themselves to properly grieve, she advised, as well as take the time to reach out and ask for help if and where needed.

“Drink water, sleep, eat, get fresh air, rest and reset if you need to. Reach out to others for help and help others that need help themselves,” she said.

“I had to stop reading the negative commentary on social media and mainstream media because it was too distressing. It also reflected that society needs to become better educated and informed about domestic violence before providing unhelpful comments and adding to the trauma. I believe that mainstream media has a responsibility to take better care with the content that is published and be aware that the messaging can cause vicarious trauma and trigger people further.”

The family law space needs to be doing something about it, instead of being seen to be doing something about it, Ms Jobson submitted.

“What I mean by that difference, is that in health care environments and in the community legal sector there is an acknowledgement and proactive response to making available mental health care professionals,” she said.

“In government and private practice, there are services available for those who have capacity to acknowledge that they need assistance and actively seek it. Without sounding too blunt, services are made available, but in some workplaces, the use of such services [is] not necessarily actively encouraged. [Such workplaces] would benefit from more specialised domestic violence training and education and a proactive approach and support from management,” Ms Jobson suggested.

Individual practitioners reach out to their professional friends and colleagues and talk to each other and grieve with each other, she noted, often without professional intervention.

“I would encourage everyone to look out for their family, friends and colleagues, both as teammates and professional opposition. Don’t be afraid to ask people if they are OK and don’t be afraid to suggest that they get proper emotional support if they are not okay. Let people know that it’s actually okay not to feel okay, and that it’s okay to ask for help,” she said.

“I would encourage everyone to acknowledge that they may be triggered by tragic events and be aware that everyone responds/grieves differently. People need to grieve their own way and be supported their own way.”

For Ms Jobson, it remains “both a privilege and an honour” to work with vulnerable people who often have extraordinary courage and strength despite their horrific circumstances.

“Sometimes, their interactions with you are the first time that they have been able to safely voice their trauma,” she explained. 

“Victims and survivors are testing the waters to see, should I open up to this person? Share my painful story? Will I be believed? It is important that you listen, believe and permit them to be heard. It is important to ensure that they have access to ongoing support services.”

It is easy for all frontline responders and supporting professionals to lose sight of the success stories and positive outcomes achieved during times of tragedy, Ms Jobson said.

“The tough work that we do as family lawyers can be very rewarding when you can assist someone towards a journey of a new life with positive outcomes for them and their children in a safer, and more supported environment.”

Regardless, Ms Jobson’s “human response” to such atrocities is that family lawyers should take the time to retreat and regroup and to take time to reflect on what has happened.

“Once I am able to process my own raw emotions, I am then able to revisit my role in assisting my clients navigate a difficult time in their lives,” she said.

“Domestic violence, child protection and family law matters require a unified, national approach, because violence and abuse [do] not stay behind state and territory invisible border lines.”

If you or someone you know is in need of support, contact the following:

• 1800 RESPECT: 1800 737 732
• Lifeline: 13 11 14
•  Men’s Referral Service: 1300 766 491
• White Ribbon Australia: https://www.whiteribbon.org.au/